Wednesday

 

So what does Homeschooling look like in our house?  Well, here are a few pictures taken around 11:30am.  Our morning starts around 10:00am with poetry, a read aloud, and sometimes piano flashcards.  This is also the time when we do some Sunday School type talking or just chit chat. 

After our morning meeting we usually have Latin and maybe Art Study (de Hooch is our current artist) or other “Fine Arts” type activity.  Then comes the kids independent work…..

Heidi is reading from one of her history books….Augustus Caesar’s World.  This is HER spot at the breakfast bar!!  You are taking your life in your hands if you sit there!  Brat.  I give her no end of crap for being so possessive.  LOL

Here is Gretchen getting herself some lunch.  Algebra I is much easier on a full stomach.  LOL

Eli likes to read his History and Literature in his room.  With all that glorious light, I can’t say that I blame him.  He’s reading George Washington’s World.  I have to slow him down sometimes….he likes to read waaaaay ahead of schedule.  Nice to see the enthusiasm, too bad it doesn’t bleed over to Latin. 

This is our homeschool bookcase.  The girls share the top and second bookshelf.  Eli owns the third bookshelf down and the bottom bookshelf is mine.  our school year is almost two thirds over, we end in late June, so many of the books have been finished and transferred to the basement bookshelves. 

Buster stretching for the camera.  He spends most of his day requesting to go out…….and come in…….and go out……and come in……..and go out………come in……….go out………..come in……….. he bugs us, but he’s cute.

 

Finally, here is Kipper.  Kipper is the grand old gentleman of our school.  He will be 13 years old in June or July.  He hasn’t moved off of the couch yet today.  Sooner or later his bladder will tell him it is time to wake up.  LOL

Some thoughts

 

1.  I feel the change coming!!!  No!  Not that change…that has come and gone.  No…the change of season!!!  The light is so different these days!  I revel in it!!!  I see my chairs outside circled around the fire pit, just waiting for me to spend a glorious hour in the sun.  How long must I wait for the snow to melt?  Today is still cold and very windy, but I can smell Spring.  I can hardly wait.  It seems ages since Mr. Sun didn’t wake until after 7 am and left us around 4:30 pm every day.  Our days, when sunny, are gloriously warm and full of promise.  I yearn to sink my fingers into the earth and feel the cool dampness.  We have plans for veggie gardens and also for flower gardens.  I have about  a million Snowbell bulbs to relocate, as well as Gladioli and Tulips.  I also have to dismantle the existing flower bed and transplant some of the flowers to the front flower  bed.  And, finally, I hope to get the narrow flower bed next to the garage and front door rejuvenated and planted with Hollyhocks and something else (can’t decide what else).  I can’t wait!!!  The earth is waking and I can’t wait to welcome her.

 

 

2.  I just helped Heidi with her Algebra I….the question was something about square roots.  As she tried to figure the problem out from one direction I showed her how to approach the problem from the other direction.  Easy enough, but the real joy comes from seeing my kids figuring this stuff out.  That look they have when  they “get it” is priceless and I have had the privilege for their whole school career.  What fun!  I wouldn’t pass up homeschooling for anything in the world!  It hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been a blessing.  Does that make sense?  

 

3.  In just one month Mark and I will have known each other for 24 years.  24 YEARS!!!!  Wow.  We met in the Roswell Christian Science Church on April 9th, 1989 and were married just 3 months later on July 14th.  I can’t even imagine being without him.  No, he’s not some kind of awesome prince of a man……he can be aggravating and god knows he was a bachelor for FAR, FAR, too long!  LOL  For 24 years, though, he has come home to me…..he works hard to provide for his family…….he is funny…..and very, very clever………and he loves me.   No matter what has happened in our life together, he loves ME!  ME!  I am humbled. 

 

 

 

What more do we need, when someone loves us, really….REALLY loves us….we have everything. 

Transition, change, a fresh start....

I've been thinking about my blog a lot lately.  I really like blogging, but it seems to be missing something.  I write when the mood hits me, but my writing seems to be lacking something....at least, to me it lacks something.  I know what it lacks, but have been afraid to change my writing.  What's lacking is ..... ME!  My interests, my passions, my daily and rambling activities.  I have withheld these entries because I haven't wanted to exclude my friends from my audience.  I have done them, and me, a disservice though.  I haven't been wholly myself in my entries.  Maybe it is time to rectify this problem. 

You see.  I am a Christian Scientist and a Homeschooling Mom.  These two activities of mine might exclude some of you from reading my blog.  For some reason that thought kept me from being fully honest within its pages.  Yes, I've mentioned my homeschooling, but not on a daily basis.  I haven't mentioned the daily joys and struggles of what I do and how I do it.  I need a voice for these issues because I have no one else to talk to.  So, ready or not, I will post a nearly daily mention (I hope) of our Homeschooling journey. 

As far as being a Christian Scientist....well, I've run into a lot of flack for that in my life.  Usually when I mention what religion I am the room gets quiet and sometimes someone will gasp...drawing in all the air, fear, and lies that have surrounded that religion since its beginnings.  I will tell you that I will NOT try to convert you.  In fact, I have never seen where forced proselytizing has ever been completely successful.  Christian Science has been my standard for life....but it may not be yours, and that is just fine!  Just PLEASE do me a favor and don't try to SAVE me......I'm not trying to SAVE you....leave my eternal life to me and God.  Thank you. 

So there it is.  Hopefully I will be able to add to this blog on an almost daily basis, and hopefully it will give you a few chuckles and promote some honest dialogue.  I would like that.  I am a zealot of nothing and curious  about everything.  Welcome to my journey. 

My Tapestry

 

My life is a tapestry.  Its threads were handed to me when I was a newborn, all fresh and pink and squalling.  The tapestry was made of the threads of my ancestors, woven hues of pink, green, and blue.   The immediate history of my parents was there within its threads……..and the much older history of ancestors that came from Switzerland, Germany, Ireland, and the Netherlands.  All their stories, all their struggles, and all their joys were passed to me as I took my first breaths….the continuation of warp and weft tangled in  my chubby little fingers.

As I grew, the tapestry grew…..new people were woven in and some people were woven out.  As we continue on through life those threads from people who pass through our days gather in our weaving and strengthens it.  When someone passes on and  they are no longer in our human experience we find a hole in our tapestry.  Sometimes we may not notice the hole, but other times the hole is so gaping and raw that we find ourselves at a loss to mend it.  We stand staring at the hole that has been left, a hole in our heart, a hole in our day, a hole in our tapestry of life.  “I’ll never be able to fix that hole!”, we cry out in anguish.  The loss and pain is unbearable…..continuing on through our lives carrying those threads that weave our essence seems unimaginable.  And we look back for some guidance from those threads of others…..and we see what has been done for us for so long.

We see where others have passed on in our lives and maybe we were too young to remember, or acknowledge the loss…..and we see that those areas, those times in our lives when holes appeared in our tapestry, that somebody mended them!  Where a favorite Uncle or Aunt left and a hole appeared, there is a patch…..a patch of threads woven out of the threads of all who remember.  The hole has become filled and strengthened with the memories and love of everyone whose lives were touched by that individual.  We see what needs to be done…..and we begin to understand.

That hole that is left in our tapestry by the passing of a loved one needs to be lovingly and carefully repaired.  We will weave our stories and our pictures together and strengthen our tapestry.  The love of that missing individual is felt again and again….they never can truly leave us, for there they are!  Each memory, each laugh, each joke is there in the threads we hold in our hands and our hearts.  As we share our stories of the loved individual we fix that hole and find that the tapestry is stronger for the sharing. 

I rejoice in my tapestry and all the individuals that help me weave it.  I don’t always get along with each one all the time…but I love how you have changed me and helped me weave a life I am proud and content with.  I am little more than a blank canvas without the thousands of threads that each of you are.  Thank you for making me whole and strong.  And to the latest patch jobs that I didn’t think I could ever repair, thank you for handing me one of your threads, a link to all those wonderful memories that made you, you.  Your lives continue in each of us that you touched with your love and humor. 

A Pre-Christmas Post

I wonder, is there a dominant Christmas person in every family?  Does someone kind of “rule” over the holiday and decide how it will be celebrated in your family?  Well, there is one in mine…..nope, contrary to what you may think, it isn’t me.  While everyone may think that I am the dominant, opinionated, bitch in the family…..it is Mark who has shaped our Christmas celebration.  He isn’t an ogre about it.  No, far from it…..but he has a way of arguing in his own defense that I have given in to.  After all, it is only this one holiday.  Let me elucidate what traditions in this family come from each of us….

1.  Tree goes up Christmas Eve….. Mark’s rule.  Apparently that is how his family did it and it is more right than any other way.

2.  Tree decorating……Mark’s way.  Yup.  I sit back and have little to say that would be heeded.  His way is better. 

3.  Presents………Mark’s way.  Presents and Stockings are to be opened on Christmas morning…ONLY!  That’s the way Mark’s family did it and the way my family did it, on Christmas Eve, was stupid. 

4.  Visiting others……Mark’s way….. NO!  We go nowhere on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  That’s the way his family did it…..(I’m okay with this one..LOL).

5.  Christmas Eve dinner…… MY WAY!  Hot dogs, beans, and sauerkraut!  Mark thinks its stupid, but this is one Koehler tradition that I was able to hold on to. 

6. Tree down……Mark’s way.  New Year’s Day…..fine, whatever.

So.  The holiday belongs to Mark, and after 23 years of marriage, I don’t care anymore.  I make sure the presents get bought for the kids.  I wrap the presents.  I cook the cookies and the dinner.  I decorate the house.  I put it all away. 

I don’t mean to make him a beast, because he really isn’t.  I have just grown tired of trying to instill some of my family traditions into the holiday and I am now just a facilitator.  Perhaps he needs Christmas more than I do…..the scheduled activities, the routine.  It leaves me a little sad though.  I keep Christmas to myself now……….it has become a very private and personal celebration within my heart.  Maybe that is what I needed…..to have the time to be free and explore the coming Christ privately.  In the end, I guess we each get what we need out of the holiday.  I still think my Christmas Trees were prettier. 

This is the winter……

 

Dark days

Cold nights

Holidays that leave you empty, missing those no longer near

National unrest full of angry words and judgmental and vile rhetoric

Hurtful words in what should be a time of Peace and Love

 

Today was a grey, grey, day.  I never saw the sun, and to say that I felt its warmth is laughable.  Having come off a few days of sickness, I really needed that sunshine…..that warmth.  It was nowhere to be found it seemed.  Our school day began without that welcome glow through our back sliding door. 

I begin our schooling with reading a poem from Robert Frost and one from Alfred, Lord Tennyson.  Both were rather chilly in nature, as I recall.  we then follow that up with 5 or 6 pages of A Christmas Carol by Dickens.  Scrooge is being visited by the third and final ghost.  He is learning about the lack of compassion at what he must only guess is his own death.  Not the cheeriest of readings.  We move on to Latin…….. ugh.

As the kids move through their Latin worksheet they all ask for help with the diagramming and translation of two simple sentences.  And all of a sudden, THERE IT IS!!!  My sunshine!!!!  My kids are all laughing at me over some faux pas I made while diagramming sentences.  LOL  In that one moment, as we laughed until we cried and gasped for breath…….the glorious radiance of the sun flooded that house and turned the tides of sadness and doubt.  No celestial body could have ever lifted my spirits higher…….it takes the pure and unmeasured love of a child’s laugh to touch a mother’s heart.

 

…..and the heart. 

It's me...........

I know!!! I KNOWWWW!!!!  I've been missing in action.......but I'm coming back.  Just not right now.

Maybe later tonight.

I’m the Problem…

 

Doesn’t it always seem that way?  I have been looking at our homeschooling routine and noting weaknesses and flaws in execution.  Unfortunately, it isn’t the kids that are lacking, but me.  We routinely accomplish the subjects that are necessary or core, such as Math, History, Literature, Latin, German, and Grammar.  Our My failing is in fitting in the fine arts and other things that should be being done.  Art Study, Composer Study, Nature Study, Folksongs, Hymns, and so on.  These subjects aren’t crucial to their education, but some would argue that they are crucial to who a person “is”.  The ability to participate in the finer things in life…..to appreciate the complexities of a symphony or the playful interactions of light and shadow in an oil painting isn’t necessary to survive, but it is to live.  So why do I find myself challenged to include them into our daily routine? 

 

I think the real challenge is that I don’t approach these subjects as a quantifiable necessity, but rather as a necessity that must come to each of us individually.  I can present a piece of artwork to the kids and have them look at them, but am I qualified to analyze that same piece from a technical point of view?  Should I even try?  As I ponder this dilemma I procrastinate even the presentation of the subject.  This is my failing.  What I should be doing is to present the subject, piece, topic, etc. and let the kids learn that to appreciate something doesn’t take a college degree.  You would think that my love of wildlife would motivate me.

Since a child I would sit and just be still, waiting for life to crawl, scamper, and ooze around me.  Playing in the creek and collecting Crawdads was a great pleasure of mine when I was six years old.  Lying on the picnic table in the woods and waiting for the Star-nosed Mole to make an appearance near the woodpile was heaven on earth…even if it took more then 20 minutes for him to feel safe and expose himself unknowingly.  Running after and catching a Garter Snake or Ring-necked Snake and feeling its cool scales slide through my hands was exquisite and will always put a smile on my face.  No one had to teach me to appreciate these cohabiters of my world, I didn’t have to learn their names and biostatistics to see that a snake moves quite different from a squirrel and perhaps it is the underlying structure that makes the difference.  I was a child, innocent and free, free to observe the world around me.  School didn’t teach me to love poetry, classrooms didn’t teach me to smile at the flight of a Bald Eagle over the city dump, textbooks didn’t make my heart and thoughts soar at the funny face of a Tiger Salamander found in the bushes near my Mother’s house.  Classical music….all music…is just as sweet without a study of the composer.  I hum and sing everyday….even if I was kicked out of the Choir. 

 

Certainly education can help someone appreciate these subjects, but perhaps the love and respect for these “lesser” subjects comes from something else.  I am beginning to think that these subjects are more difficult for me to “teach” because I don’t want to “teach” the love out of them.  These subjects, the very act of living and loving the world around us, cannot be taught….they must be lived.  Music, Art, Life, Literature, all should be lived….. experienced…… weighed and balanced in our own thoughts….accepted or rejected.  I have a hard time scheduling these subjects because they are much more important then the Math or the Grammar that comes from textbooks.  Those subjects are important in their own way…they are the tools, the  skills, that let us appreciate the other subjects.  …but, to me, they are only tools….. the important subject is the observation of the life around us.  The appreciation of that life, and not the over analysis of it. 

I think I just need to change my perspective. 

The Internet and Perception

As we go through our daily routine it is very easy to succumb to the idea that the whole freaking world is going nuts!!!   EVERYONE IS SO DAMN WEIRD!!!  The criminals are getting scarier, the politicians are even MORE corrupt (is that possible?), family values have hit the septic tank and wallowing in the muck, everyday people on neighborhood social forums are frighteningly bizarre!  Even family member's rantings can enrage and/or disgust us!  What the hell is happening to the world?!!!


I think things have become more abnormal than normal....at least it seems that way.  I think with the moment by moment onslaught of information that modern man avails themselves of.... we find that the world is a scary place to live.  And I do think that society has generally taken a major nosedive into that primordial ooze that we allegedly crawled out of tens of thousands of years ago....BUT, I also think that because of the ease of disseminating information these days we are being made more cognizant of activities and behaviors that we would have been sheltered from years ago.  In the days before the Internet it would take days for information to travel around the world, now it takes seconds.  With the Internet ANYBODY can post information, anonymously give opinions, and put themselves out into the public eye professing to be an expert.


It has come to my thought lately that having instant access to the latest crazy rantings of every Tom, Dick, and Harry, might NOT be a good thing.  The more I read on the Internet, the more I like staying away from the Internet.  Particularly during an election year.  I know there is good information out there in the World Wide Web....but it can be hard to find.  The one thing that I know for sure is that Ethics, Valor, Courage, Honesty, etc. are much easier found in the lives of REAL PEOPLE - LIVING REAL LIVES than in anything you can find on the Internet.

Just my two cents worth..........

Memories….

I remember sitting with Mom while she and I watched Jack La Lanne’s exercise program.  Everyone else would be in school and she and I would sit down to a bowl of ice cream and watch.

I remember planting Marigolds with Mom in the backyard in King of Prussia in the Spring.  I then remember puling the dried seed heads of those same flowers and saving them for the next year. 

I remember playing with our neighbor, Mark Reinhardt, while Mom and Mrs. Reinhardt talked.  I learned much later that what they were drinking out of their little dixie cups was a bit more potent then the Kool-Aid that Marky and I had. 

I remember all the picnics that we would go on….. Valley Forge Park, Washington’s Crossing, some damn dam, and many other places.  Those days are always bright and sunny and happy in my mind.

I remember Mom making dozens and dozens of cookies at Christmas time.  From Halloween to New Year’s Day our house was constantly enveloped in a swath of good smells and Mom’s laughter. 

I remember sneaking out of bed at night when the older boys and Mom would stay up and watch late night TV.  I would “hide” under or behind a tall backed upholstered chair….she would sneak me treats and then pretend that I wasn’t there.

I remember how she used to take such care in how the Christmas Tree was decorated.  She wanted it to be a “fairy wonderland”……she would lie on the floor under the tree and look up into it and have me do the same….and we would look up into the branches at the twinkling lights and the shimmery angel hair.  It was magical…….. because of her.

I remember our home was neat and tidy….decorated with Colonial Americana pictures and fabrics.  Her love of this country was evident in many ways. We would go to the Military band concerts at Valley Forge Park….how could you not love your country?

I remember Mom’s stories…..oh her stories of growing up were awesome!  What a treasure to have been blessed with!  The oral history that each one of us holds is more priceless then anything we could keep in a bank or spend at the store.  I may not have much money to ever have my kids inherit, but I will pass on to them the stories!  Those glorious stories of joy, sorrow, anger and forgiveness; they will become their inheritance. 

I remember Mom so well.  I miss her so much.  And now, a year after her passing I hold her close in my heart.  My memories of her are precious to me.  She was/is my demonstration of “Mom”…..  Mom was who I needed to be my Mom.  She is still my demonstration of Mom…. she is still mothering me, sharing with me, guiding me.  We are all together, I cannot be separated for one instant from anyone…..and now that Mom has shown me that, I am content. 

Random Thoughts…….

It has been almost a year since my Mom passed on.  It has been a very hard year….a year of many tears and some wonderful bonding with certain family members.  Thank you all, friends and family, for helping me through this rough time.  When I think about it, I never had a close relative die before.  How very shocking it was for the first close person in my life to pass on was the one person who I was the closest to.  It was very painful to say the least.  But we move on….life keeps going forward…..the days pass and slowly, but surely, you find a way to continue.  Ohhh….but I do miss that silly old woman sometimes. 

On to other things……….

 

A new movie has come out.  The Hunger Games, based on a book by the same name, is causing quite a stir.  I, for one, will not see it nor read the book.  I don’t see the need in reading about a society that has sunk to the point of killing its children off for sport.  Some people say there is something to be learned by reading and watching this story….I don’t know what.  I guess as I have become older I have also grown weaker.  I no longer have the fortitude to watch or hear about people being hurt.  I do not find entertainment in any kind of killing.  I suppose it is necessary at times, but I do not want to find myself watching it for “fun”.  No.  We will not see the movie nor read the book.  Surely there are better things to do. 

On a lighter note………

Our first ever seedlings are sprouting!  I couldn’t be more proud!  Heidi planted our 5 Broccoli, 5 Cauliflower, 5 Cabbage, and 5 Brussels Sprouts and they are now growing in our mini-greenhouse!  In about 6 weeks we will transplant the survivors out into our raised beds.  By that time we should have quite a few other veggies started and will be well on our way to having a real garden!  I can’t wait for real vegetables on our table again. 

 

Finally,

I wish to thank all of you that actually stop by and read my wandering thoughts.  It is very humbling to have complete strangers as well as beloved friends and family members take the time to read what I write.  I know that often my opinions can sometimes differ greatly from other people’s and I’m sure that I have made one or two of my readers raise an eyebrow or roll their eyes…..but this is who I am.  Like most people, I have lived through a lot in my 50 years…..and know that I have so much more to experience……I have grown very tender hearted, and at the same time, rather bitter.  Hopefully, as I write more I can catch that bitterness and undo it.  It is unproductive and eats you up……and I don’t want to be a bitter old lady who finds, when her own race is run….that no one misses her.  While I would never wish the loss and loneliness that I have felt this past year on my children and spouse…I do wish that they look back on their time with me and laugh, and love all our memories we share.  May those that I leave behind never associate meanness with my name.  May they always remember me the same way that I remember my Mom.  A noble woman who loved a good joke and high adventure. 

Thursday School

This is the time of year when our days all kind of bleed into one another.  It is too yucky to go outside, although it is warmer than usual for a Minnesota winter.  We are too broke to have a second car up and running at this point and even if we could afford to repair it, we couldn’t afford the gas for it.  So our days are spent doing school.  Horrible, I know!!! 



Thankfully, we don’t start until 10:00 a.m.   Our first activity is to read some poetry, currently John Greenleaf Whittier, and a chapter or two from On the Shores of Silver Lake by Laura Ingalls Wilder while sitting on the couch.  After those readings are done we then tromp down to the schoolroom in the basement. 



Our first subject is Latin.  The girls have had an introductory Latin course, but it was laid aside when we moved to Minnesota.  Eli is fairly new to all of this and I can tell by his expression, he is rather confused.  LOL  I keep telling him to just stick with it and it will all make sense to him eventually.  We have just started with this Latin curriculum and so far it is going well.  Once Latin is over, we move on to Math.



Math has been a struggle for Gretchen and Eli.  Heidi seems to come by her Math very easily and is consistently in the 90’s on her tests and daily work.  Not so much for the other two, but I would say they are solid “B” students.  Today wasn’t a good math day for Eli…..fractions are kicking his butt!  He’ll get it, attention to detail is his greatest challenge. 



Gretchen takes the longest to do her math……she has a problem with daydreaming sometimes.  When she can stay focused, however, she can rock math and score in the high 80’s to low 90’s.  Either way, she is averaging a “B” in Saxon Math 8/7 so I won’t complain. 



When Latin and Math are done and the papers are graded they take a break and then start working on their History reading and their Literature selections.  They will read an assigned chapter or section of their books and then narrate back to me what they have read.  I have noticed that their narrations are getting more and more detailed and the kids actually seem to enjoy the process and remember the subject matter a lot better. 



Scattered through the week they will be asked to locate various places on the maps throughout the house.  These could be places they are reading about in History or places that are discussed in their Literature or Geography books.  Currently Eli is reading about Marco Polo and he has traced the route that Marco took when travelling out to China and then back again.  Eli has also pinpointed where Leonardo Da Vinci was born and where her lived.  The girls have done likewise with their History and Literature topics. 

Grammar is also covered a few times a week, as is Health for the girls.  Eli is still working on his penmanship because cursive writing eludes him.  Practice makes perfect.  Science is covered with informal experiments and reading of various books covering Inventions, Geology, and everyday science.  We also utilize the area parks and green spaces for Nature Walks led by me, their own private Nature Fanatic!  They have no idea how lucky they are!  LOL 



Overall, our days are full and enjoyable……but at this point, I think we are all feeling a little bit of cabin fever and can’t wait for the snow to melt and our school to be interrupted by countless discoveries in the backyard and beyond.  It’s so nice when we can take a blanket outside and do some of our reading lying out in the sun.  Hopefully those days are only a month or so away. 

Three Years……

Today is February 27th.  Three years ago, on this date, we were driving from the St. Louis area to our next stopover just north of Omaha, Nebraska.  We were on the second leg of our three day jaunt from Paulding county, Georgia to Moorhead, Minnesota.  We had had a very interesting journey up to that point.  I’ll tell you all about it……

Because of a year of being unemployed and finally obtaining a promising job offer in Moorhead, MN, we packed up everything and started the long trek from GA to MN.  I had lived in GA ….. or been associated with GA….. for over 30 years!  I was excited about leaving but very sad to be leaving everything…… everybody…….. it was a tough decision and we knew it was the right thing to do.  So we started packing. 

We rented the largest Uhaul truck that we could get, rented a trailer to tow our old pick-up truck on and made all necessary repairs to our van.  On that morning (the 25th I think) we left later then we had planned.  The dogs, secure in their crates in the back of the van, whined incessantly for hours, having never traveled before.  Mark led the way with the moving truck and I followed with the van.  Our first stop was to be Alton, IL.  

A couple hours away from Alton we ran into a very severe thunder and lightening storm.  I hate driving at night…..and driving in a torrential downpour with intense lightening was hell.  As we cruised along the interstate Mark pulled the moving truck over and I followed him to the side of the road.  He had a flat.  Late at night, in a storm, on a Uhaul truck!  What were the odds that we would get helped soon?  Actually, pretty good!  LOL  Mark called the Customer Service number……we were right at an exit on the highway so he pulled off and limped the truck to a gas station.  Very quickly we were met by a wonderful couple who quickly repaired the tire and we were ready to go.  How awesome! 

Our joy was short-lived, though.  Heidi, who was about 9 years old, loved riding in the truck with Mark and was running back to where I sat in the van to tell me something.  As she opened the door to speak to me, a gust of wind must have caught the door and slammed it on her thumb.  I remember looking at her sweet little face as it scrunched up in pain and she immediately became very wet with tears and drool (she’s a very juicy girl).  When Heidi is in pain she doesn’t scream out, but her face shows every bit of anguish, it is heart wrenching!   Mark was talking to me through the driver’s door and didn’t know what was going on.  Within seconds I was frantically trying to remove my seatbelt and reach over to open the passenger door to release Heidi’s hand.  I couldn’t reach it!  I yelled at Mark to run around the car and open the door!!!  “Open the door!  Open the door!”  Poor Mark was still clueless but he managed to get around the van and release Heidi’s hand.  The picture was rather graphic, but I plunged it into a glass of ice water we had there and she settled into the passenger’s seat to travel with me in the van instead of in the truck.  As we took off from that gas station to continue on our way, Heidi and I talked about the time when I was little and had my hand slammed in a car door.  She calmed down and eventually was able to think on other things.  The hand was forgotten. 

At 2 in the morning we pulled into Mark’s Aunt Janice’s house.  She was as loving and caring as a person could be to us.  What a gem she is!  We were shown our quarters…..a finished basement with room for all of us….even the dogs.  We were left to reconnect as a family unit and cuddle and pass out.  It was a wonderful night at a time when we needed that kind of warmth and caring.  In the morning we awoke to breakfast and wonderful company…. Uncle Gene and Aunt Janice.  It was so good for our hearts.  Soon we were on our way for another whole day of driving.  Our next stop was for a place north of Omaha.

We would have made good time getting to our next place except we got lost in Omaha.  Somehow we missed the turn off for Highway 29 North and kept driving around Omaha for over an hour, in a snowstorm, at night!  Oiy vey!!!  Have I told you how much I hate driving at night?  LOL  It was bad!  Finally, though, we got straightened out and found ourselves making our way out of Omaha and to the Best Western where we had reserved a room.  We arrived at the motel late in the night, but the caretakers were awesome and helpful.  The room we had was huge with three king sized beds for the five of us and two dogs.  Somehow I wound up with two kids in bed with me while Mark and Gretchen had their own beds.  LOL 

In the morning we found that the highway North was closed due to poor driving conditions.  We chatted with other folks staying at the motel and they enjoyed our Southern accent.  LOL  As we packed the vehicles in anticipation for our next part of the journey we noticed that now the U-Haul trailer had a flat tire!!  I took the kids and the dogs to the McDonald’s across the street for breakfast and Mark, once again, called Customer Service for U-Haul and told them our latest challenge.  Fortunately, another couple came out quickly and fixed the flat in quick order.  In about an hour’s time Mark joined us at McDonald’s for breakfast while the kids played in the playground.  About the time that we were ready to leave we heard that the highway was open and we could continue on our way. 

The final part of the journey was probably the nicest.  We traveled north, straddling Iowa and Nebraska, with bright sunshine and the excitement of snow on the ground.  More snow than the kids had ever seen before!  It was beautiful!  The hours wore on and finally we entered South Dakota…..fewer people and more snow.  Our travels were coming to an end and we were getting excited about what lay in store.

As night approached we entered North Dakota and found fewer and fewer places to stop for gas and potty breaks.  Soon Mark let me know that he need fuel for the truck, and soon.  There was NO PLACE TO STOP AND GAS UP!  We finally pulled off the interstate highway and followed a road that we hoped would lead us to a gas station.  We found the town, cute and quaint, but the gas station was closed.  We saw people coming out of the local school and asked a family that was walking home if they knew of the nearest place to get gas.  Imagine, Mark in the large U-Haul and me following in the van……following this couple as they walked up the street!  LOL  What a sight we must have looked like…..stuffed to the gills with our belongings and kids and dogs……. and desperate for gas! 

The young couple were wonderful!  They led us to their own house in town and poured the gas they had in a container into the truck and told us where to go for more gas.  Again….they were warm, and loving, and as nice as could be.  We never got their names and I can’t even remember the name of the town now…..but I hope they are very, very blessed with all the goodness in the world and beyond. 

Soon, we were on our way again.  Gassed up and ready to go!  Woohoo!  Very soon we were entering larger population areas in North Dakota…..and it wasn’t too long before Fargo, ND, was in our sights!  It was about 9:00pm and traffic was still somewhat heavy (for Fargo!  LOL).  When it came time for our turn off to take us into neighboring Moorhead, MN, Mark forgot to turn.  We had to loop around the interstate and try it again…..but we managed and were within a few miles of our new apartment home!  Then, quite unexpectedly, I watched as Mark pulled off the highway heading East and took a ramp that took him down the wrong way!  We had our cellphones and I called him and had to talk him back up onto the highway he should have stayed on and then on the correct ramp to take us to our apartment complex.  He arrived, with a worried little Eli, about 15 minutes later. 

We were “home”.  A new state…….. a new job……… many new challenges, but we were home!  That was three years ago.  Wow!  I think all of have come away with a great appreciation of what our ancestors have lived through in their lifetimes.  It isn’t easy, and sometimes it isn’t fun…..and once in awhile it is painfully lonely…….but I wouldn’t change one minute of our adventure.  My kids have seen how to meet challenges and come out on top.  We’re only here for a short time and that time shouldn’t be spent living in fear of what might happen.  When a challenge or an opportunity comes your way, think….pray….and step out.  Our journey isn’t about what you acquire, but how you live…..how you meet the challenges…..how you keep going forward…..at least most of the time.  LOL 

Really?

 

How should I live?  Am I supposed to subjugate my learned morals and ethics to gain popular appeal?  Because I can get a laugh out of saying something….does that mean that I SHOULD say it?  If every one of my friends encourage making fun of someone, does that mean that it is okay for me to do the same?  When and where do we stand up and defend our own sense of right?  Do we make that stand by derision of what we perceive to be wrong? 

In this year of political divisiveness sped along by the lightening speed of technology, insults and lies are hurtled through our lives like pollen in the Spring.  We “bear false witness” faster than ever before.  We drip venomous words about family, friends, neighbors and politicians in the hopes of making ourselves popular with others who we think feel the same way.  I am not innocent of this crime.  We have become a world of fast talkers and slow  thinkers.  We are bullies.  (yes!  me too!)

 

There comes a point, though, when we should reexamine our motives and actions.  Why do we so quickly jump on the bandwagon of belittling?  Do we think that it will make us more popular, better accepted by our friends and family?  I have thought so at times.  I became drunk with the power of words……. in a very bad way.  I  sold my soul for the taste of that sweet wine of popularity and being included into the “cool group”.  I have said some cruel things in my day. 

 

Some people would say that we have the freedom to say what we want, it is in our constitution.  Yes, in this country, freedom of speech is held very dear to our hearts.  But, just because you CAN say something doesn’t mean you SHOULD say something.  This isn’t about taking away or suppressing our rights to say what we feel is right or wrong……it is about being the best person we can and trying to “do no evil.”  Do the words that we speak in anger or derision really have an impact on the person they target…..probably not.  Particularly when they are directed at a political leader.  Where the real impact comes is within our own thoughts.  By feeling that it is okay to insult and taunt someone, you are accepting that into your life.  You will find yourself the subject of someone else’s opinion…..it isn’t pretty, trust me! 

 

We all have some kind of code of right and wrong that we profess to live by.  The bottom line is that we should LIVE BY IT!  That code isn’t something that we just drag out and wave at others…….it is meant to be a guideline for US!  For each of us to interpret individually and act upon.  We may still find that we run across someone who is a bully…..but we know that we don’t have to stoop to their level.  When you see their barbed words fly, shake your head and move on.  If you feel that you must say something then examine, for just a minute, WHY.  Perhaps the motive behind the words of insults needs to be held up against what we hold as our guide to life. 

 

As I have said, I’ve been there.  The poisoned barbed arrows have flown from me many times………and I regret it.  Now I am at a point in my life where I see how stupid and misguided I can be and I want to change that.  I still don’t like what I see spewed forth in the media and on social forums, but I am learning to bite my tongue and not jump on the Bully Train.  If someone or something is really offensive to me then I stay away from them…..or at least I am trying to.  My poor tongue has been bitten nearly in two many times.  LOL 

 

"Stand porter at the door of thought. Admitting only such conclusions as you wish realized in bodily results, you will control yourself harmoniously."  (Mary Baker Eddy)  What are you inviting into your thought?  Is that really what you want to see played out in your life?  Do those words that you are about to say, that video that shows someone in an unflattering light, make you a better person?  Will the world be a better place for the words that you are about to let fly………. try to think about what you are about to say.  …..and why you feel you need to say them. 

Time.......

Time.  Not my friend, definitely!  I have so many things to do, get done, start, finish.....there seems to be no way to ever accomplish what I want or need to get done.  I've never been a very good time management kind of person.  I'm more of a "let's sit down and have a Coke and think about all the things I need to do" kind of person.  Just ask Mom...she'll tell ya!  LOL  I even had a boss tell me that I was an awesome employee, but had horrible time management skills.  Sadly, it seems to be true. 

I need to make lists...... I used to do this, but somewhere along the way gave it up.  Too many moments with kids and loved ones get lost when you have an agenda and a list.  I've tried a few different scheduling software programs, but they get lost in story time and hugs and, "Hey!  Look at the snake I found, Mom!!"  How can you be successful with a schedule when there are important dragons to slay in your own backyard? 

It is a quandary.  I WANT to accomplish the tasks at hand....but the moment calls to me.  "Come sit in the sun, throw a frisbee, sit with your son while he watches Star Trek reruns........"  There are so many moments in each day.  And so much dust to be dusted, so many floors to be cleaned, so much laundry to be done.  How do you choose?  Even the hobbies that I WANT to work on (scrapbooking, photo restoration, geneology) are getting pushed back further and further into the recesses of time. 

I think what has happened is that I have lost the "edge" to finish things.  I have let the excuse of "enjoying the moment" turn into laziness.  Somewhere in there is a happy medium and that is what I am yearning to find.  When sharing a moment with a child turns into a snore-fest on the couch while the child gets up and leaves the room, then perhaps I have overstayed my "seize the moment" moment.  So I need to make a list ........ or five.  If I broke my day into general chores, what would they be?


Homeschool
House Cleaning
Cooking
Hobbies
Family Time
My Time

That would be the first list.  I feel the need for a Coke now.........and a comfortable chair........ and a few zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 

I think I have issues.  :)

Pillows and Underwear

 

Today we venture out into the land of retail for pillows and underwear.  Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?  LOL  The kids think so!  Eli is so happy to be able to get new pillows he can’t stand it.  He’s been talking about it all week long.  So today he will be a very happy eleven year old boy. 

It’s funny what makes kids happy.  For my kids, and probably many others, it is the simplest things.  A pair of jeans from the thrift store, new socks, a new pillow.  Some of the most basic items in everyday life.  You read about and see on television some of the brattiest and most ungrateful kids….and you have to wonder, “Where are they?”  Those kids certainly don’t exist in my home and probably not in the majority of the homes in America.  Why not?  What makes my kids different from “those bratty kids?” 

Perhaps it is the economic level that the family lives at that makes the kids more appreciative of what they get and have.  We live on a single income.  A mechanic’s income.  We live comfortably and maintain less then 1/4 the national norm for unsecured debt.  We have a miniscule savings.  Paying the few bills that we have can be a struggle sometimes.  The kids have never been shielded from our financial struggles. 

I think, being able to see their parents work hard to stay ahead of their debt has given an appreciation for what the kids are able to have.  They are aware, also, of the sacrifices their parents make so that they have the necessities of life in Northern Minnesota.  A few weeks ago I purchased, for myself, a new pair of sneakers.  Sneakers….. less than $80 sneakers.  When I put them on I was so happy, so thrilled to finally have some new shoes.  The last pair of new shoes (sneakers) were bought for me by my Mother and have had to weather 3 winters up here in Minnesota.  I have no winter boots, so the sneakers have seen more then a few blizzards walking the dogs.  When the kids saw me dancing a little dance with my new sneakers they appreciated their own belongings just a little bit more.  They are learning the true value of what they do own.

So it is off for Pillows and Underwear…..and maybe a Dairy Queen soft-serve dipped cone.  I think the kids will like that. 

Sometimes I just have to cry.....

Sometimes the missing is just too much.  It doesn't last for more then a minute or three anymore....but it sneaks up on you when you least expect it and WHAM! ....... a few tears escape.  So, with Mom on my mind.....here is the video my sister made a month ago.  Mom and Dad went to live in Taiwan for a few years.....it was such a wonderful experience for the two of them.  Lisa (my sister) set the slideshow of their travels to one of Mom's favorite songs. 

Okay.  I'm better now. 

I’m So Lonely

How can you live in a house with 4 other people in it and be so lonely?  :heavysigh:  Mark isn’t interested in talking to me….and certainly the kids aren’t interested in talking to me.  The kids I understand, I’m with them all day long teaching them, reading to them, telling them what to do.  But Mark?  I don’t know.  I guess I understand.  It is the time of year when we start feeling kind of housebound.  The temps are kind of cool to be out walking around, and we don’t have anywhere really to go.  So we sit in the same house, not talking to each other, not interacting…….just being. 

I should try to engage them, you say?  pfffffft!  I’ve been doing that all morning.  I give up.  I’m tired of trying.  I’m lonely as hell and want someone to talk to……I don’t care what we talk about……I just want to talk.  Mom would understand.  She knew all about lonely sometimes. 

I remember being with her when we lived in Erie, PA.  She used to drive around the neighborhoods and say out loud, “I wonder if someone in that house needs a friend?”  “Maybe there’s a woman in that house that would like to have a cup of coffee with me?”  She never found anyone there to chat with……nor in the next town, Schaumburg, IL.  Sure, she would find some neighbor that would talk over the fence, but never for more then a few minutes….and never over a lazy cup of coffee. 

How ironic that I should wind up living her life all over again!!!  Here I sit, often wondering if there is a neighbor woman who needs some company.  Is someone near me sitting in her house, wondering if she’ll ever have a “real-life” friend?  I’m sure there is.  I should start a group…..”Only the lonely homemakers” group.  LOL  Sad. 

I remember Mom giving me a floppy stuffed Cocker Spaniel dog who would say different phrases when you squeezed his tummy.  One of our favorite phrases was, “I’m so lonely,” in the most melancholy voice.  I think of that stuffed animal all the time…..his ear fell off one time and Mom sewed it back on.  He received many tears in his fuzzy body and Mom always sewed him back up.  I miss him…..and Mom.  I found some pictures of him online, his name was Napper. 

The Why’s and the Wherefore

As my kids get older I am finding that I am having to address the tougher and tougher problems.  Life isn’t as cut and dry as it is when you are little bitty.  There are many shades of grey.  So many times when just being right isn’t the only issue. 


The kids and I have had many meaningful conversations over the past few weeks.  Some of our conversations have been with the group of us, Gretchen, Heidi, Eli and I…..and other conversations have been just between one child and myself.  I don’t know if any of what I tell them is getting through, but I hope so. 


We have had some rather interesting conversations with one of the kids about heterosexuality,  homosexuality, and just sexuality in general.  I think, in these times of massive media overload and freedom, that mature ideas are presented to young minds who aren’t ready to deal with those ideas.  I have no issues with people with different lifestyles then mine, but I do have problems with a preoccupation with a segment of our lives that is really so small and insignificant when taken into consideration of our whole affect we have in this world.  At what point does sexual preference become sensualism?  I don’t care how my children, or anyone for that matter, cares to define themselves…… I do care that a preoccupation with sex is unhealthy and wasteful of so many other talents that a person has. 

Another conversation we have had is the idea of choice.  The choices we make in our lives can determine much about how smoothly our lives will go.  How I know that one soooooooo well.  The girls and I are doing a health curriculum in our homeschool that starts out with the idea of choice.  The book retells the story of Adam and Eve from the Bible and asks the question, “What if Eve had made a better choice?  What if she had consulted with Adam…. or better yet, God….. and made an informed choice?”  This prompted a great opportunity to talk about some of the choices that I have made in my life and how they helped or hindered my maturing.  We talked about my choice to stop drinking alcohol and how soon after I found someone who loved me for me…..not for my dress size and not for my ability to drink someone else under the table.  In so many things, it is our choices that master us. 

The kids are coming into the time in their lives when they question everything and want answers.  I’m not ready to give all the answers…..I’ve made some pretty bad choices in my life.  I have also made some pretty good ones.  LOL  The good ones I attribute to listening to God. 

Yesterday we talked about how I met Mark, my husband.  It was listening to God that jolted me out of that bed that Sunday morning and compelled me to go to Church.  I can count at least 4 times when I thought to myself, “Nah…I’m not going to Church.”  ….. and a big and very “unstill” like voice told me, “YOU ARE GOING TO CHURCH!”  I went to church and sat next to a good looking older guy whose side I would never leave and whose love I would always cherish.  This year marks 23 years with this man.  I think it was a great choice/ answer to a prayer. 

We all have choices to make.  These choices aren’t easy ones…..many of them can make other people hurt and angry with us.  When I quit drinking many people turned away.  If the choice you make is the right one for you then you have to stick with it.  Our choices should make us better individuals, they should hurt no one, and possibly help lift someone else up out of the muck.  It is my belief that we are all on a journey of discovery, and it doesn’t matter who is in office or what our government is doing, what matters is that we are acting upon our highest sense of right…..wherever that comes from.  The more solidly we stand on what is right and good for mankind…..hold to principles that hurt no man……and live these principles in our daily lives….then mankind will prosper.  Our lives are noble and good if we follow whatever leads us continually in that direction.  Sometimes we must try the waters and often find them unsatisfactory, and then we must step out from the crowd and get back on that path…that journey that raises us up.  It isn’t about which religion is right or which government should rule…..it is about living good and noble lives. 

I think most people strive for that goal, but often the cares of the day, the waste of time on tv and internet mindlessness, takes our eyes off what we really feel is important.  More of our days should be spent seeking good and less time spent criticizing the bad. 

Wow!  This post took a different twist!  LOL  Oh well, such is life.  I leave with some quotes on Being Noble….

"A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires." ~ Marcus Aurelius

"Be noble minded! Our own heart, and not other men's opinions of us, forms our true honor." ~ Friedrich Schiller

Genealogical Research

Sometimes I have to wonder why I am doing this whole Ancestry.com thing.  I have solidly substantiated what I already knew about both mine and Mark's families.  I can trace us both back at least 5 generations......except for two families in Mark's ancestry and one family in mine.  It is very frustrating, to say the least, when you are faced with names that you think are unique enough to be easily traced and yet, when you look, you find there are three or four people with the same name, in the same town, at about the same time!  Gaaah!!! 

I've uncovered an adoption in Mark's family that he never knew about, and a direct link to Switzerland in my family that none of us knew about.  It is fun finding these little tidbits of history.  We found that Mark is related to a family that was living in the Kentucky area (Martin's Station and Ruddle's Station) when British and Indian forces raided and killed the residents and then rounded up the rest and marched them off to Detroit, then in Canada.  Early on in the march Rachel Van Hook Loveless was carrying a baby, as well as a young toddler.  According to reports, the Indians were not happy with having an infant present to slow them down and so they "brained" the infant by smashing its head against a tree.  The toddler fared some better and was carried papoose style.  Pretty much everyone in the group survived, but they were held captive in Detroit for four years. 

It is stories like these that make the research interesting.  I realize that the further back I go in time, the less accurate the apparent lineage becomes.  Names change, families change, adoptions...recorded and not, occur.  It becomes more and more difficult to feel certain of my research, and that has become okay with me.  When you get beyond 4 or 5 generations the research just becomes history and stories.  I like that, no matter who it is about. 

I suppose my next step would be to interview some of the older family members still living and hope that they can shed some light to take me back just a little bit further.  It would be nice to complete the 5 generation pedigree with reasonable certainty.  Then I would be happy with what I have learned and print out the documents and pedigree.  Maybe no one will care what I have learned, but it will give me something to share with my kids.  We now can place people that we are related to in American history.....hopefully it will give them a sense of ownership for the founding and shaping of this country.  I think it will.